


My Own Worst Enemy

by ChElFi



Series: I Don't Dance [10]
Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: 30 Day OTP Challenge, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Animal Ears, Captain Hill - Freeform, Day 10, Established Captain Hill, Established Relationship, F/M, Maria's POV, POV Female Character, Reading, Reading Aloud, Single POV, Wearing Animal Ears
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-10
Updated: 2014-09-10
Packaged: 2018-02-16 21:22:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2284911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChElFi/pseuds/ChElFi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve deserves the happiness of family, at least that's what Maria will tell you if you ask her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Own Worst Enemy

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Title from my favorite Pink song, Story of My Life. Oh, wait, no, that's just my description of "Don't Let Me Get Me." :D And it's only partially the story of my life. I don't think I ever dated a teacher. hehe.
> 
> OK, last of the Maria stories for now, and last of her angst...also, for now. :) They're off to my favorite place in the world, the library. This takes place on the day after Thanksgiving.
> 
> Please recall that this is my headverse and I established Steve's preference for books over the internet before I saw CA:TWS.

It was no secret that Steve Rogers preferred books to the Internet. It was also no secret that Maria Hill preferred books to people; actually, most were certain she preferred almost anything to people. So it would be no surprise to anyone who knew them that a perfectly acceptable alternative to the online shopping and crowded malls of the holiday season, was time spent at the library. What might have been slightly surprising was that the two of them had somehow ended up roped into reading to a group of children.

It started innocently enough. Steve, feeling nostalgic, was looking for a book his mother had read to him as a child. Maria had researched and found it at the New York City Library, so the couple ventured down to the historic building the day after Thanksgiving. Locating the book in the children's section, Steve and Maria sat together off to the side, and he began to read quietly to her.

_"This is the story of the different ways we looked for treasure, and I think when you have read it you will see that we were not lazy about the looking."*_

Slowly, as he read, children started to come and sit near them. Maria could certainly understand why. Steve read aloud like he did everything else, with every part of him. Even though he'd not tried to draw attention to himself, his vocals and mannerisms as he read were hard to ignore. He had a different voice for each character and Oswald, Dicky, Alice, and the others, all became real to those who were listening.

At the end of the first chapter, he closed the book and a little boy pushed another into his hands. Maria smiled as Steve opened the book and began.

_"On a shiny green leaf sat a small green chameleon."**_

And so it went the rest of the morning. Lovesick mermaids and shipwrecked families, dogs who drove cars and cats who wore hats. The children came and went, while the parents sat with bemused looks on their faces and reminders to tell the nice man thank you. Twin girls thanked them with their yellow tiger ears, which Steve seemed to wear proudly so Maria thought it couldn't hurt to join him.

She watched as Steve was unusually unembarrassed by the attention. He laughed and sang and screeched and growled to the delight of the children. And Maria went along with it all. No one could to tell that inside she was slowly dying, the reality of one more reason she wasn't good enough for Steve right here, in her face.

He seemed so comfortable in the midst of these smiling children and happy families. This was what he knew, what life had been like for him. This was what life should be like for him. This was what Maria could never give him. After the previous night, it was as if she was being sent a strong message.

When SHIELD called her in, Steve used it as an excuse for them both to leave. But his smile lasted through the subway ride to headquarters and hadn't subsided by the time she went to meet him for dinner in the cafeteria. As she watched from the door she laughed silently because he was still wearing the tiger ears and sharing the story of their morning. She felt the tension of her fears slowly melting away at the happiness on his face.

Then she heard two women who were sitting at a table near the door and watching with interest Steve's stories to those at his table.

"Too bad he's infatuated with Hill," one said.

"No kidding," the other replied. "Can you imagine Agent Chill as a mother?"

"Oh, that's a nightmarish thought," the one returned. "Those poor kids."

"Well, right now it's only 'poor Captain America,'" she said. "What does he see in her anyway?"

"Opposites attract?" The one said, then they both broke out in giggles.

"Well, you can't get much more opposite than good and evil," the other replied.

Maria quietly opened the door and walked back into the hallway. Taking a deep breath, she pulled on the mask she had perfected long before SHIELD recruited her, then walked steadily and purposefully back to her office.

Sitting down at her desk she thought on those last words. They were true in so many ways. Steve was good. He was pure and right and noble and just. Maria was the opposite. She was dark and secretive, working for an organization that often weaved lies for no other reason than to justify its own existence.

She'd been putting the dots together for a while now, since before the invasion. But the more clear the picture became, the foggier the details. Daily, the number of people she could trust at SHIELD was shrinking. And while she knew she would always trust Steve, she also knew that if she was ever able to figure out what was going on, he wouldn't be able to trust her again.

There was a knock at her door and Steve stepped in after she summoned.

She smiled an honestly weary smile at him.

"What happened to dinner?" He asked as he stepped over and leaned down to kiss her.

Maria savored his lips and stored away the sound of his concern for her. She knew it wouldn't be long before she would have them no more.

He sat back on the edge of her desk and took her hand.

"I got caught up in work, again," she lied. "I'm sorry."

"I wish you'd been there," he grinned and a blush crept up his neck. "You might have pointed out I was still wearing those ears."

They laughed together and Maria felt a twinge of self-pity knowing how soon this would all end.

"Let's get you something to eat," he said.

"I have to leave in the morning," she said.

He looked disappointed but he didn't ask where. He knew better. She'd have told him if she could, or so he thought. And Maria pushed aside the guilt at yet another lie.

"You can at least eat, right?" He asked. "Or should I call the director to see if he's denied you sustenance."

Maria laughed at that, but, in truth, she couldn't have him mentioning this to Fury at all. So she shook her head and stood, and picked up her jacket as she followed him out of the room.

He took her hand in his and Maria allowed herself this moment to enjoy his strength and kindness one more time.

_*The Story of the Treasure Seekers by E Nesbit._

_**The Mixed-up Chameleon by Eric Carle._

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Just a heads up, I won't be dealing with the break-up in this series. I already dealt with it in "Bad Seeds." If you want to read that between this story and the next, you'll get more Maria angst. :D


End file.
